Autism Umbrella

Joined : 16 Jun 2007 Posts : 64 Localisation : Scarborough

dont know where to start&this is probably gonna be a mind bending ramble, and will prob take up 2 posts lol,just need to put my situation&thoughts down as it has happened etc etc,hope u can understand how I put things&I really appreciate all of you,even if you read the first 2 lines of my dilemma lol,ok..il begin

I have j,9 (ADHD) and his brother m,7( ns)over the past 8/9mths m has become increasingly violent,(lets think kevin from kevin&perry)
he gets so angry&nasty,he even bares his teeth&*growls* at people instead of shouting or trying to talk,he does not swear,he*SPELLS IT OUT* instead of saying it but when he is angry he picks up ANYTHING to hand whether it be a bit of paper,a shoe,scissors,pen,boot and will LAUNCH it at whoever has *p'd* him off.we were sat watching tv and J glanced across at M, THAT WAS IT, M growled DONT LOOK AT ME J OR IL GET YOU,J was shocked so I said to M "hes done nothing wrong,just looking around" that was it a full on paddy ensued,M throwing things&trying to get J
At the weekend they were on the trampoline,bickering like brothers do when M decided to pick up an old deckchair&try launch it over the enclosure to hit J
m will kick,(kicked my hall wall in with his heel) stamp,try to bite and go wild when he is annoyed,EVEN if thers no reason or he has been told NO
ive had the usual"maybe j gets more attention with having adhd&hes left out or copying his behaviour"
No ,I treat my boys the same and mason has been fully involved with everythin,explaining about his brothers adhd,chatting about his camhs apts,even helping j with his medication(bless him)
I know m has always done*naughty things* but have I not noticed it because J was so bad?now J is settling down on his meds,I see m showing similar behaviour,I dont think I have any worries with adhd as M is so bright &well behaved at school(tho he has come on home on occasions&said he's brayed someone&he didnt get caught)I asked him WHY he get so mad&he just says"i dont know,my body does it"
OH and that he wants to tell his tescher to P.I.S OFF cos she is boring so thats why he piks his trousers!well ive spoke to the school support worker&we done a referral
to family support with the hope of getting him a support worker,i held my hands up,Im struggling,she says ive done the right thing by asking for help,we are also gonna arrange a hearing test as m*ignores* people then gets frustrated when he is spoken to again LOUDLY,

Joined : 16 Jun 2007 Posts : 64 Localisation : Scarborough

I want to get to the bottom of this and get M any help he needs,makes me wonder,IS there a problem? their dad beat me black&blue r***d me&hurt my boys by dropping or throwing them,their aunt also has a personality disorder but I dont know what as we have no contact
we do everything together,we talk openly about their feelings/school/friends etc and I do the best I can yet I dont think ive been doing so great over the last couple of years,I have a bad day with the lads(who doesnt) but i can get so upset,cry&puke or so MAD i wanna nut the wall( and I have done both on several occasions BUT NEVER INFRONT OF THE BOYS)then theres times I want to scoop them up in my arms,take all the money from my bank&spoil them rotten,book holidays i cant afford or just buy them something cos i want to cos i love them,I just feel nervous im not doing enough&it upsets me but then we put MTV on and party together which is brill as i feel im being positive..dont get me wrong,we do this anyway without me being sad or down,like we go out,we play,we have burger king etc but when i get these real down/super happy feelings it scares me,PLEASE id appreciate ANY advice,its like when Im down,i feel its becasue im not doing good enough so i get down,yet when Im UP,im SUPER mum and NOTHING can stop us,anyone else get like this?

Subject: Re: I really neeed some advice please 15/4/2008, 9:38 pm

Lolly, it sounds to me as you're suffering with bi-polar disorder, exteme highs and lows, you need to see your doctor URGENTLY, as this is a serious condtion and if not treated and stabilised, will affect you and everyone around you no matter how hard you try and control it, I know I have suffered for years.
Go to this website and see if this helps www.pendulum.org. but I urge to to go to the DOCTORS TOMORROW. As for the problems you are facing with M, I don't have any answers for you sorry. Please please let me know how you get on
Kebab xx hug

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I'm not crazy just misunderstood

Subject: Re: I really neeed some advice please 19/4/2008, 12:24 pm

I hope u get the help and peace u need hun hugging

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Northern lass born & bred!

Joined : 12 Mar 2007 Posts : 835 Localisation : East Anglia

I agree with Kebab that you should go to the doctors as soon as possible cos you do have some classic symptons of bipolar or something similiar.

As for the problems you are having with your child it sounds to me like a vicious circle going round & round of behaviour problems feeding off of each others moods.

Even when we try to hide our worries & concerns from our kids they pick up from us that something isn't right but cos they don't have the words or experiences to express themselves it comes out in their behaviour. This can be even days after the event.

You have done the right thing in asking for help but don't forget about yourself cos you need help & support too before you burn yourself out.

Go to your doctor this week & tell him or her exactly what you have told us.

Let us know how you get on..xx

Joined : 27 Mar 2007 Posts : 708 Localisation : Surrey

Oh, Lolly

I read your post first and wondered if you'd got in my head somehow! Honestly, your house sounds a lot like mine, although I only have C to contend with. And she can certainly be a contender! silent

However, I do agree with Bambi, Grandma and Kebab. I don't know much about bi-polar, but I know a lot about serious mood swings and I know that I am either up or down and there's nothing in the middle. I also know about depression (the black dog haunts me!! Smile

) and I agree that you should go and talk to a sympathetic doctor. You have had so much cr@p in the past and life isn't exactly quiet for us, is it?

Good luck, and please let us know how it goes, but do something about it, for your own sake. You can't live your life feeling that way, as it isn't much fun....

Subject: Re: I really neeed some advice please 25/4/2008, 9:48 am

Lolly, I know you are probably busy but I need to know if you are alright, if you don't want to poat back then please pm me. hugging

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I'm not crazy just misunderstood

Subject: Re: I really neeed some advice please 5/5/2008, 11:59 am

Hi Lolly, just posting to see how u are hun? hugging

Thinking of u, pls do let us know if any joy at the docs and an update on how things are at the mo.

Take care hugging

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Northern lass born & bred!