Had Enough

Joined : 27 Mar 2007 Posts : 773 Localisation : Surrey

C is driving me slowly dotty. Well, actually, not so slowly.

I live in a two-up two-down (they call it a starter home, but it's the same thing! Rolling Eyes

) which is teeny-tiny.

Every evening I clear the living room, because C has trashed it after school.
Every morning I have to clear the bedroom because C has trashed it a bedtime.

She has utterly no regard for possessions whether they are hers or mine and I am sick of it. I was on the phone to my mum, the only other person I have that I talk to, and C wilfully tipped loads of stuff all over the floor and started "posting" books behind the sofa. The sofa that she had previously wrecked by chucking all the cushions on the floor.

My mum then does the 'Mum Sigh' (you know the one!) 'cos I dare to tell C not to behave in this way.

So, I ask C to pick up the stuff she tipped over the floor.
"No"
I tell C to pick it up.
"No"
I tell her to pick it up or she has no bedtime story
Pretends to cry
I tell her to pick it up. otherwise it goes in the bin.
No response at all
I get the bin bag (a clean one mind, 'cos I can't afford to throw stuff out, but she doesn't know that!) and she simply couldn't care less.

I have tried everything but nothing works.
Punishment fails, bribery fails, every thing bloody fails.

Anyone got any idea, however silly it might sound? I am sick and tired of constantly picking up after her as she simply won't tidy up anything.

I have to OT coming sometime in the next 3 months or so to help with the dressing fiasco, so maybe I'll ask them....don't hold out much hope though.

Joined : 27 Mar 2007 Posts : 773 Localisation : Surrey

Additional:

Since posting we have had 3 major melt-downs one after the other.

She screamed in the poor cats' ear and was so aggressive towards me I seriously wondered if she was going to attack me.

Hmm....what is behind all this I wonder?

Joined : 12 Mar 2007 Posts : 865 Localisation : East Anglia

Maybe she needs to let off steam! A big. secure field where she can run & scream as much as she likes & tire herself out!?(You could run & scream too!!) She sounds frustrated & is pushing your limits. How about you having a pretend melt down in front of her!! Something might register with her that it's scary!! Bless ya both. xx

Joined : 27 Mar 2007 Posts : 773 Localisation : Surrey

Thanks Grandma!

Words of wisdom as usual1

I uspect that there is something going on at school. There is a new boy in class and he sees the differences in C where the other kids, some of whom have known her since nursery, don't see it so much as they don't know her being any other way.

She was a bit off this morning but so far, fingers crossed, she's feeling better...

Joined : 12 Mar 2007 Posts : 865 Localisation : East Anglia

I still think a field would do you both the world of good!! xx

Joined : 27 Mar 2007 Posts : 773 Localisation : Surrey

Anyone got a field they aren't using?

Could you check down the back of the sofa? Most things seem to end up there!

Subject: Re: Had Enough 6/6/2008, 3:41 pm

Awww hun i feel for u here hugging

Sometimes bribes dont work with T at all and its then i know im losing the battle Sad

he will say 'i dont care' or smash something of his which shows me he really doesnt care!

Screaming & aggression is somehting i have got used to over the years, i still have to discipline T no matter what and reiterate that it is not acceptable and i pray for the day it sinks in, if it ever does!

Does C have a great love of something? whats her fav past time or what wud she really be upset about not having? Ts is football, i can bribe with him not going to footy practice but thats one day a week so i cant always use that. Even though i have things to use it still doesnt stop him going over the edge at times.

About something at school being the problem, you could well have hit the nail on the head there, T will bring his stresses home to me and as i was told by a professional in the field of ASDs, T expresses it more with me than he will anyone else, i am mum and he feels that he can be totally himself with me.

I knew this already and i have learnt this and so much more over the years but it doesnt make it any easier on us does it hun? hugging

Yes Grandma is totally right, both of u go and find a field to scream away in! and u will end up laughing together too no doubt, it may even turn into a screaming competition but make the rule clear to C that screaming like this can only happen in a field, or ur neighbours may become concerned at the screams!

Take care hun hugging

_________________
Northern lass born & bred!

Joined : 12 Mar 2007 Posts : 732

I agree it could be something at school. I know how u feel about the trashing, dd used to do it all the time I was constantly following her around all the time cleaning up after her. I hope this helps, but it does seem to get better, dd is no where near as bad as she used to be, she still has her days but its no way as bad as it used to be.
Take care x